Mindfulness

       Every therapist I’ve been to has tried to get me on board with mindfulness, which is basically a type of meditation, but I’ve always been very resistant to it because there is no way I am going to sit and meditate or listen to zen recordings, etc. The therapist I have now initially tried to get me on board by introducing me to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy but I only lasted a couple of chapters. It doesn’t matter how much it will help, I am never going to sit and think of meadows or chew my food a hundred times trying to identify each individual flavour. That’s just not happening. However, she recently started me on Dialectical Behavioural Therapy which takes a very different approach and so far seems actually doable. Now, I have been seeing my current therapist for about 18 months and she has been through almost every type of therapy out there with me, all of which have failed miserably. I give them a shot but usually end up thinking that the exercises are stupid and ineffective so she was relatively surprised when she managed to finally find something that I was on board with. 

       The main reason for starting me on this type of therapy was that I experience very extreme emotions and am incapable of calming myself down so I get desperate and turn to other people to talk me down. Unfortunately, most of them are just scared and overwhelmed by it (and probably not all that pleased either) so it ends up damaging the relationship. This type of therapy starts by teaching you distress tolerance, giving you ways to self-soothe when these emotions hit. In my opinion, this is way more effective than writing out your thoughts and trying to tell yourself they aren’t true. I haven’t experienced one of these episodes since I started this therapy so I don’t know how well it works for me but it just seems much more practical. It is also applicable to trying to fall asleep, something I often have trouble with, because falling asleep requires you to be able to self-soothe (apparently this is a skill I never learned). Anyway, I have now moved on to the next section of the workbook which is mindfulness and geesh why couldn’t all the other books be this straightforward?! Within the first two pages of the chapter I knew exactly what mindfulness entailed and how to practice it without meditating for an hour. Basically mindfulness is just being aware of the present moment, recognising when your attention wanders, and bringing your focus back to the current task. How difficult is that to explain? And you can practice it at any time: when you’re reading, watching TV, having a conversation, etc. As you continue to read they do give specific exercises you can do, some of which involve picturing meadows and clouds, but they are just options so if you aren’t into it you can just stick to the basics. Eventually all this practice is supposed to improve your concentration and reduce the time you spend worrying about future and past events, making you happier and less anxious, so we’ll see how that goes. For now I’m just glad that I don’t have to meditate every day.